but people fascinate me, the way they interact, the way they do things without realising it, the way they think that other people care about what they say.
one of my friends, i won't mention who, thinks they're right about everything and won't take no for an answer.
another one of my friends just lets life pass them by, is a bit passive with everything and does what they want, when they want, no questions asked.
these two people, grew up in fairly similar homes, they live about a mile from each other, similar household incomes, similar upbringings, just one is an arse, the other isn't.
this kind of thing fascinates me, apes in the wild can live hundreds of miles apart and act pretty much the same, but us humans all have one thing in common, we're all different.
another thing that humans have in common is the power of 'gossip' and i don't mean in a "ooh celebrity gossip" kind of way, i mean in the way that when your friends back is turned you will bitch and snipe about them. i'm guilty of it in the past, of course i am, whoever says they aren't is a liar. but it's the ones who do it without realising.
if a friend of a friend splits up with their partner, then everyone is going to pretend they knew EXACTLY what happened, and how it all went down, truth is, nobody but the people involved know what happened. if they tell you what happened, they're not telling you how it happened or the detail they want, they'll be economical with the truth and tell you their version of what went down. everyone twists things so they look like the hard-done-by party... EVERYONE.
same thing happens if people meet for the first time.
they'll get on face to face, but in private they'll have a little whinge about the other to their respective friends. once again, guilty in the past.
now this i know sounds like a rant or a bitch in itself and partly you're right, but it's mostly just observation. what i've witnessed through daily life.
working in a psychiatrists has opened my eyes to REAL mental instability, it's also given me legitimately qualified people to vent/talk to about people i know who say they have 'mental disabilities' when really they've just had a bad day or two and somehow think they're "depressed" no... you're not depressed, you're an arse, now go carry on with life, buy a pack of smarties and eat them. they will be as much use as what any doctor will prescribe you. the psychiatrists can see through your little charade and will prescribe you sugar tablets. not ometrithtopolene, that's just a silly name, made up by the doctor, so that when you go to the pharmacy and the pharmacist doesn't recognise it, they will just give you sugar tablets. you stupid hyperchondriac.
people are always looking for a 'label' or a 'get out clause' if you were for their irrational behaviour. but what is irrational behaviour? is standing up on an empty bus irrational behaviour? some may say yes, but have you really thought about why someone may be standing up?
no... you haven't, you're being subjective, back off and let people be. if you were with your friend on that bus, would you leave it, or would you question it? i know what you'd do... you'd question it, why? because that's how humans act. they pick on people that are different.
in work today, i had a case of a person who was sexually and physically abused as a child, they were then subject to bullying in school, major emotional bullying from their parents, and you'd think this person would be a quivering wreck, no... they're one of the most inspiring people i've met. they carry on with life as if nothing is wrong, they talk like anyone else would, only by reading their clinical history (which by the way, i AM allowed to do, and also HAVE to do) could you tell their past. they haven't had a bad day and claim they've got depression... they've had a bad 18 years of childhood and carry on life happy they're alive. the reason they were in was a yearly 15 minute appointment to check up on them as it were. nothing else. they're not crying or moaning because someone had a go at them.
there's so many cases similar to this i could mention, but won't.
working in places such as where i am actually gives me great insight as to how people work, and the truth is, most people are fine, a few need help, but they shouldn't be bullied or demoralised because of it, all they want to do is carry on their day just like you and me.
i have to say it, that 'I' had a fairly traumatic childhood. my parents divorced when i was 2, the fallout from that still happens to this day, there were so many court proceedings, observed visits, CSA phonecalls, letters, etc. and while we're on the subject of 'people' can i say
i don't like big groups of people that i don't know.
for a few reasons.
1. i'm mildly claustrophobic, i don't like being overcrowded by people
2. i am very defensive with information about myself, so when it comes to a large group of people who want to know me, i'm quite aggressive, passive and defensive, this may seem arse-y and to be fair it is, but i've been hurt a LOT in the past by such situations and as such am once bitten twice shy.
3. i don't mind meeting new people one on one on MY terms, not anyone elses. call me OCD, call me what you will, but if i don't have control of a situation, i'm shitting one, i don't like it, and i want out.
now, having found this out about me, does your opinion change? i know you didn't already know that about me, so your opinion shouldn't change. but will it? are you one of them narrow minded people on the back of the bus? or are you one of them narrow minded people who had a go at me at that party that time, who bitched about me, who don't like me because i shy'd away, because i retreated to somewhere i was alone and safe? because you didn't come and say hi one on one while i was in my comfort zone you will never know the real me. when i'm in my comfort zone, i can take people one at a time, but if there's more than two at a time, i don't like it and it gets my back up.
if you meet me, and you want to talk to me, take it slow. if i want it to move faster it will, but please. don't hate me for what i am. i'm just like you, only different.
but back to my original point, why do we do what we do?
to fit in?
to look good?
to be happy?
the harsh truth of the matter is that no matter what, the world will never, ever be a peaceful place. but why can't we just try?
next time you have a situation you can have a nice old bitch about, refrain. and see what happens. because you'll find that they who say too much, think not enough.
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